We are back in the hospital. Henryk was very fussy all day yesterday, so once it got to the point that he vomited and had a fever, we came to the ER with concern of a shunt problem. After the ER doctor consulted with our neurosurgeon we were admitted. Back on the sixth floor after less than two weeks.

The neurosurgical team tapped Henryk’s shunt to test the spinal fluid for infection although they were rather hopeful that this was just a viral problem.  We learned within only a couple of hours, however, that the initial culture came back showing infection.

There is no way to remove an infection from a plastic implanted device, so Henryk was scheduled for surgery to remove the shunt.  At 2:30 this afternoon they took out the shunt and sent us to the pediatric intensive care unit.

Now that the shunt is out we can treat the infection in Henryk’s body. We meet with a specialist from the infectious disease group tomorrow.  This is a very big meeting because Henryk will need IV antibiotics that address the specific bacteria they found in his body. Depending on the type of bacteria, he could need antibiotics for weeks, or even months.  Although we are going to do everything we can to try to administer these antibiotics at home, if they cannot put in a pick line (permanent IV) we would have to be in the hospital for the duration of treatment.

After treatment of the infection is successful we will need to decide whether or not to put the shunt back in.  We are back to the same decision for a third time, now with even worse outcomes to each option.

What we were most afraid of with the shunt has happened, and after only two weeks.  We are very sad that Henryk has been so sick and uncomfortable.  We have no idea what the next few months hold.  We have no idea what we will do about his hydrocephalus after the infection is treated.

I’ve said something enough times in the past few months that it has me thinking.  Most of the time it is in the night time, and I’m awake and tired, and I exclaim to Michael, “It just isn’t fair.  It’s so unfair.”  It’s not fair what my baby has to go through.  I’m sure we all know, if we take the time to think about it, that life isn’t fair.  We understand that.  We see it every day.  We try to deal with it.  We may even try to teach our children that life isn’t fair.  You don’t always get that for which you have worked.  It is hard to understand.

Sometimes, our circumstances are a result of our choices or actions.  Sometimes, if we do the right thing, or make the right decision, good things will happen.  But sometimes they do not.  Sometimes tough soldiers who never smoked a cigarette get lung cancer.  Sometimes towers fall and kill 18 bystanders.  Sometimes women who do everything right in pregnancy deliver a baby with severe brain damage.  Someone has to be in the 5% of shunts that get infected.

It’s hard to stomach.  My baby and I did nothing to cause our trouble, our strife.  But you know what else isn’t fair?  That Jesus loves us.  We do not deserve so great a love.  It was not fair to him that he came and lived a perfect life and yet was killed on a cross.  But he did it.  He did it even by choice so that the consequences of our sinful hearts are not eternally hell.  He endured unfairness for us.

And even further, what isn’t fair in this life will be made right in eternity because of Jesus.  There will be no unfair in eternity. No one will be missed, nothing will be mistaken, no body will be imperfect, and our actions and hearts will be appropriately known and acknowledged because there will no longer be sin impairing them.

We love our little boy so we can and will do what needs to be done to most honor, comfort, and respect him.

***Struggling to get pics uploaded, so pics to come maybe tomorrow***